CBS 5 News Poll

On Saturnday night I received a call from CBS 5 in San Francisco. It was a political poll... and I found a couple of the questions to be quite strange, which is why I decided to write about it on my blog.

The first question asked whether I was a registered voter in California. "Press 1, if the answer is yes, and 2 if the answer is no." I am, so I pressed 1.

The second question concerned my likelihood of voting in the February primary. I replied that it was very likely that I would be voting of February 5th.

The third question regarded my registered party affiliation. "Press 1 if the answer is Democrat, press 2 if the answer is Republican, press three if the answer is other..." I used to be an Other, but this year I infiltrated the B-side of the dark side, to support Ron Paul. I pressed 2.

The fourth question inquired as to whom I would be voting for. "Press 1 if the answer is Mitt Romney, press 2 if the answer is John McCain, press 3 if the answer is Ron Paul..." and so on. I was surprised that Paul was listed third... actually I was surprised he was listed at all. I pressed 3 firmly.

I was then asked if I had voted in the last general election four years ago. I answered in the confirmative.

Next I was asked who I voted for in the previous election, "Press 1 if the answer is George Bush, press 2 if the answer is John Kerry, press 3 if the answer is Other." I pressed 3. Don't blame me, I voted for Other.

The next question asked which issue was most important to me in the 2008 election. As I listened to my choices, I thought about how in the past few weeks, the war has been ignored, while the economy has received most of the attention by pundits. Since all of the candidates, except one, plan to perpetuate the war for another four-plus years, I knew that they would prefer to ignore it, and pretend to focus on the economy. I pressed 1 and selected war as the issue most important in this election.

I was also asked how George Bush will go down in history? "Press 1 if your answer is one of the best presidents, press 2 if your answer is an average president, and press 3 if your answer is one of the worst presidents." I put him among the worst, right there with his daddy, Clinton, Carter, Ford, Nixon, Johnson, Kennedy, Eisenhower... and the rest... are here on Gilligan's Island.

I was also asked about my age, and gender. I'm pretty sure I got those two right.

One of the questions was on abortion, and allowed only two choices "anti-abortion, and pro-choice"

Another question asked if I owned a gun.

The oddest question of the bunch was concerning global warming... is it real or made up? "Press 1 if you believe that global warming is real, press 2 if you believe that global warming is made up." I pressed 1 even though it probably isn't real. If anything, we're headed toward another ice age... that cyclical menace that returns every eleven thousand years, and guess what? It is time to start cooling down again, so don't get yourselves in a tizzy about global warming. And for Greg's sake, don't do anything that's going to speed up global cooling. Silly Human race.

I have never trusted polls... A good friend of mine worked for one of the nation's major polling companies, so I asked him a bit of a leading question once:

"Tell me something Bekus, are polls used to reflect public opinion, or to manipulate public opinion?" He chuckled knowingly, and replied with the rhetorical question, "What do you think?" "That's what I thought," I said.