Lately I've been paying special attention to a segment of our society who lives by rules above the rest of us. A class who's abhorrent behavior is actually encouraged and rewarded in our culture. I'm speaking, of course, about dogs.
Some animals are created more equal than others.*
If I chose to urinate on a fire hydrant or defecate in a public park, I would surely be sited for a public indecency crime. Yet man's best friend can urinate on anything he wants to, and is free to defecate anywhere said creature feels the urge. When he does, the master says, "Good doggy," pulls out a plastic baggy,** scoops up the warm fecal matter, ties the vile baggy to the leash, and strolls away with the full fecal baggy dangling and bouncing on the taut tether. Sexy! Sure, 99% of the matter is collected, and disposed of, by the good master, (at least here in our area.***) However, a residue of bacteria still remains in the area where the dastardly deed was done. In public places, this is a real danger to young children who unsuspectingly roll, crawl and play in grassy areas where dogs defecate.
A Future Thinker's Solution
If dogs are as smart as their Humans claim, they could easily be trained to use a sanitary doggy lavatory. Special taxes could be levied against dog owners, and the funds could be used to construct doggy potties where pooches could poop & pee in privacy, away from view of the public. Additionally, bad doggies who illegally poop in public places would be sited with a hefty fine. An alternative would be the doggy diaper which would prevent potentially dangerous bacteriological substances from coming in contact with the populous. One thing is sure, something needs to be done about this powerful out of control fecal fraternity who live by the anthem, "I Like Dogs and I Vote."
* Animal Farm by George Orwell
** Occasionally provided via tax payer$, many of whom don't have pets, (steal from the rich and give to the pooch).
*** Santa Cruz dog owners are pretty good about picking up after their pets. However, in some places, the mess is left behind to be discovered by unsuspecting passers by. Squish! Bad doggy!
"What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung." Monty Python