Eleven Reasons to Vote For Mitt Romney in Utah's Last-in-Nation Primary

On Tuesday, the Beehive State will become the last-in-nation state to hold a presidential primary election. The pundits are saying that Mitt Romney will be your Republican candidate, so here are eleven reasons for the folks who live behind the Zion Curtain to vote for Mitt Romney.

1 You think that America should continue to be the policeman of the world, and force rogue nations to behave.

2 You like the idea of torturing people who have never been charged of a crime.

3 You think America should continue to give billions of dollars to nations that are hostile to us.

4 You think the United States Constitution is outdated and that Americans should be arrested by the military and detained indefinitely without due process.

5 You think that it is a good idea to continue deficit spending.

6 You agree that corporations are people.

7 You think that a war with Iran is a good idea.

8 You think that liberty is overrated and that freedom is dangerous.

9 You think it is a good idea to spy on innocent American's every telephone conversation, keystroke and text.

10 You approve of a presidential assassination list that targets people, including Americans, without due process of law. 

11 You think that giving up liberties in exchange for a more secure state will make you safer.

Have a nice primary!