Showing posts with label Sarcasticus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarcasticus. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

A Prayer to Science

Praised art thou Almighty Science, analyzer of the universe for thou has brought us out of darkness and delivered us from the follies of our fathers. 

Yea, blessed art thou Almighty Science who hath chosen us from among the nations to declare a voice of warning concerning global warming and to proclaim the promise of temporal salvation through vaccinations.

Praised art thou Almighty Science who convinces thine elect and confounds the unbelievers with state-sanctioned revelations via electronic gadgetry. 

Cursed be the unbeliever who's ignorance threatens all mankind. May thy discerning hand of reckoning deal with them swiftly - remove them from our midst on the day of judgment, and may their unclean data be blotted out from the Book of Knowledge, forever and ever. Amen.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Smart One? - Newt Gingrich: The Ascension of the Republican Messiah

"Newt Gingrich is what stupid people think an intellectual sounds like."

The above statement was my favorite viewer comment from the recent CNN Republican Debate that decidedly separated the warmongers and proponents of the police state from Ron Paul and John Huntsman. The majority of viewer comments from the debate indicate that Americans are waking up to a sense of their awful situation, and taking Ron Paul's message of peace seriously, in spite of the mainstream media's ignorance and excuses for his repeated successes in polls.

Lately, the media has been trying to convince us that Newt Gingrich is the smartest of the bunch. Well, he may not be as dumb as Herman Cain, who, during the last debate, had to continually be reminded of the question, and even where he was, or Michelle Bachman, who couldn't even pronounce the name of her country.* He's obviously smarter than Mitt Romney, who revealed that he knows nothing about constitutional government, and Rick Perry who seemed distracted by the pretty lights... but Newt is certainly not smarter than John Huntsman, and doesn't hold a camel to Ron Paul.

To Newt's credit, he proved that he can count to three, and demonstrated it a handful of times during the debate. He also established that he would perpetuate the failed policies of the past, and pledged to continue to empower the police state under the guise of national security.

The new-found contrived attention on Newt worries me a bit, and makes me wonder where his support is coming from.

I pay a lot of attention to body language because it says much more than the words coming out of the candidates' mouths, and I noticed something during the debate that may be significant to point out. While commenting on illegal Mexicans' rights in America, Newt posed in what I refer to as the messiah stance. I pointed it out to Mighty Mo, and predicted that we would likely see images in the news of Newt's messiah stance. The following day, Newt's messiah stance was featured prominently throughout the mainstream media.

Why is this significant?

This is the same messiah stance that convinced me that Bill Clinton would become the Democrat nominee early in the 1992 primary, and makes me wonder if maybe the GOP hasn't already anointed their candidate for 2012.

I can't imagine that the Republicans would nominate Mitt Romney, even if he knew what he was talking about. Most Americans, especially Christians, are far too bigoted to allow a Mormon to become the Republican nominee. Conservatives are happy to have a Mormon neighbor, and rely on their help mounting anti-gay rights campaigns, but aren't interested in one becoming their commander-in-chief. They'd prefer a good Christian, like Newt Gingrich, to be elected president. And at least if Gingrich loses the election, they'll rest well knowing that President Obama, a good Baptist, is in the White House, and that God is blessing America because the president is a true Christian.

* Ms. Bachman insists that the name of her country is the Uninded States of America.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Tis Eventide

I've decided that I don't get sick nearly enough. I mean, I've never even had any surgery or broken any bones. Last week I decided to get really sick, and have spent many days in bed laying around doing nothing but hurting, and enjoying a few fun-filled fever dreams. One of the side effects of the two powerful antibiotics I am taking is astounding clarity of memory. I've been remembering things that happened forty years ago like they're on a 3D screen right in front of me. Kind of creepy in a way, but I have been enjoying my unexpected stroll down rememory lane, (or is my life passing before my eyes?) I've even solved puzzles that have been tucked away in the back of my mind for years. This trippy, pharmaceutical induced 3D thinking has led me into pursuing a new hobby, stereoscopic photography. More on that on a future post though.

I've been feeling like a caged monkey, or lab rat... lab monkey. Reading hasn't been nearly as enjoyable as I had hoped it would be, sitting at the computer is way too uncomfortable to accomplish much. I don't know how much more Sabrina the Teenage Witch I can't take either. Fortunately, there are only two more discs to go on the seventh and final season, then I will be rid of Salem's fur-ball enhanced shenanigans forever. Whihoo!

The cabin fever was getting too much, so last night I forced myself to get out of the house. I can't even remember the last time I walked out to the new lighthouse, so that is where I went as the sun was setting behind Santa Cruz.
Opalescent water shimmered as I strolled down the sandy walkway toward California's newest lighthouse.
Santa Cruz' main lighthouse was clearly visible across the water from Jax, (named for the concrete barriers that resemble the popular childhood game).
I had the opportunity to go the the top of this lighthouse once upon a midnight dreary.

A patient Pelican waits for returning whalers while he listens to the blasting dance music coming from nearby Crow's Nest Restaurant/beach party place.
Across the harbour, the fueling station waits calmly for returning and departing clientèle.

It was one of the most lovely nights in Santa Cruz I can remember. Glad I'm here, and not sweating to death in the desert somewhere.

Twas good to get out and breathe that cool fresh Santa Cruz air. I should do this more often.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Maverick is Back

Recently, American Maverick and former Republican Party Presidential Candidate, Senator John McCain, proudly introduced The Dietary Supplement Safety Act (DSSA), a piece if legislation designed to repeal key sections of the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act (DSHEA) that protect availability of so-called nutritional supplements.

McCain's bill will put the distribution of vitamins, minerals and all other nutritional supplementation in the hands of medical doctors where it belongs. Who better to administer nutritional supplements than doctors who are required to take up to one full credit hour of nutrition during their college education?

Nutritional supplements will become classified as drugs, therefore, McCain's bill may also help to rid the nation of holistic and chiropractic quackery by preventing non-medical professionals from providing supplements or making nutritional recommendations to their patients who will be forced to see a real doctor for any nutritional advice.

Due to the high costs associated with testing and compliance, McCain's bill, if passed into law, will eliminate small nutritional companies. This will, in turn, necessitate production of vitamins by the larger and more established pharmaceutical companies, increasing profits for corporate heads and investors alike. It looks like a good time to invest big in Big Pharma.

McCain's bill will also act as a great distraction to lots of people who will get caught up in trying to protect their supplements, and dissuade them from becoming involved in other social and political issues.

Keep up the good work Senator McCain! You're a REAL maverick, and TRUE American.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Crazy Politician or All is Well in Zion...

On the House of Representatives floor, Congressman Ron Paul rants about Obama Administration sanctioned assassinations of US Citizens.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy to Pay

Yesterday, thousands of American citizens showed up at rallies across the country to protest over taxation in general, and the misuse of federal funds in particular.

I didn't go to the protest in San Francisco where thousands of angry citizens showed up. I didn't go because I say nay to the nay sayers. Paying taxes is what America is all about.

Without taxes, how would we build the bombs that blow up buildings, and how would we pay to rebuild those buildings that were blown up?

Without taxes, bankers wouldn't be getting those big bonuses they had been expecting, and automobile executives would have to play by the same rules as regular people. We don't want that, now do we?

Yes, I'm happy to stand up for freedom and pay my fair share so that we can continue to bomb and rebuild other parts of the world.

Happy Easter

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

=@# - Bunny Boy is a Big Fat Copy Cat - #@= Part 8

Did anyone else noticed how the Residents blatantly stole my blog idea and posted it on their own blog? "How many Residents are there?" Good question guys... where did you come up with that one?

When I covered the built-in camera on my laptop with tape,
I thought it was just a coincidence when the Residents did exactly the same thing on one of their Bunny Boy internet episodes less than two weeks later. Now I am more suspicious!

It makes me wonder if the Residents have ever had an original idea, or do they just steal them from me all the time???

I'm locking all my ideas up in safe deposit box out of certain eye's view.

With no new ideas, the Residents will be forced to announce their retirement at the conclusion of the Bunny Boy Tour.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

OX - HALLOWEEN Costume Ideas - XO

It's that time of year again. Time to start planning your Halloween costume.

The perfect Halloween costume should be unique and invoke shock and awe. After all, horror is what Halloween is all about. And with all the Sarah Palins and lipsticked pigs running around this Halloween, you'll want to do something unique and memorable.

Here are four costume ideas that will invoke fear everywhere you go this Halloween.

It's fun for partners to dress up as famous couples, like John and Yoko, Sid and Nancy, Tarzan and Jane... Cute, but SO last Halloween.
For couples who are looking for a unique costume that will impress their friends, this year I recommend going as the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center.

A simple costume to make, with lots of terrifying design variations. One tower can smoke and appear to burn with the aid of a portable smoke device, while the other tower has a small aeroplane attached to a wire that bobs and dances as the party goer moves about. And what could be more fun than twins?

What's Needed:
-Two large boxes, (identical)
-White paint
-Stiff wire (to attach the aeroplane)
-Marker (for detailing windows etc.)
-Toy aeroplane, (or two)
-Plastic people
-Scissors or sharp knife to cut eye holes.

Don't Forget to Vote!
If you are trick-or-treating alone this year, or don't have a partner to dress up with, I recommend my favorite costume... What could be spookier than Uncle Sam carrying a body bag with a body in it? This is definitely a fun costume to wear in pro-war neighborhoods.

For the body bag, I use an ordinary military duffel bag which perfectly accomodates my mannequin's lower torso. Her army boots are allowed to dangle out the end. A nice touch this year is to wear both Obama and McCain pins to remind everyone that both are pro-war candidates, and will be responsible for lots of body bags filled with American GI's. A grim thought, and just perfect for Halloween on an election year.

What's Needed:
-Uncle Sam mask, or makeup. (If you are using makeup, you'll need to find one of those ridiculous Uncle Sam hats)
-Coveralls (I use a radiation suit, but they are difficult to come by)
-Military duffel bag
-Lower torso of a mannequin
-One McCain pin
-One Obama pin
-Army boots

If I Only Had a Brain
Another great political costume that reminds folks about the election is a scarecrow with the face of John McCain. This costume makes it obvious to everyone who the straw man is in this election cycle. If I only had a brain is the perfect song for Whistlin' Scarecrow McCain as he mingles with voters.

A Don't Think! Vote Republican! pin is nice addition to this costume.

What's Needed:
-Hay or straw
-Straw hat
-Overalls or trousers
-Flannel shirt
-John McCain Masque
-One Don't Think! Vote Republican! pin

Yawn Jockey
This costume may be politically incorrect, but Halloween isn't about touchy-feely hug-a-thons. To me, its about making people think. For some people, that is a most terrifying prospect. In this community, Barak Obama is hailed as a messianic figure who's going to save us all from ourselves, therefore depicting Obama as the Lawn Jockey of the DNC will shock and terrify even the most liberal party goer.
A Vote Democrat - Keep Slavery Safe and Legal pin adds a nice touch to this costume.

What's Needed:
-Jockey uniform
-Obama masque
-One Vote Democrat! Keep Slavery Safe and Legal pin
-One mouth full of marbles

Happy Halloween!
Don't Forget to Vote!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

It's the Ecomony* Stupid!

Wow! Crash goes the stock market. Ouch.

Our borrow and spend leaders in the US have sold out our future generations to China, but I had a really good idea how to get out from under our international debts, and become a strong viable nation again. The answer is surprisingly simple, too.

Here in the good old US of A we have lots of states that we don't really need. One of them could be sold off to the Chinese to cancel our debts. Better yet, create a bidding war between China, Japan and maybe even Saudi Arabia. We could probably even turn a profit.

The most obvious state to sell would, of course, be Texas.

With the exceptions of the City of Austin, and Ron Paul, there's really nothing worth hanging on to in the Lone Star State.

With this plan, we'd not only be out from under our debts, we'd have a new neighbor too. It's good to be neighborly. Howdy neighbor!

* I
ntentionally spelled incorrectly for your amusement.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Surf City Independence Day Police State

The 4th of July, the day we Americans celebrate our declaration of freedom from tyranny. Ironically, Independence Day in Santa Cruz looked more like a resort prison camp than an ideal community on the western edge of the land of the free.

Overnight, makeshift fences were erected in an attempt to keep fireworks and alcohol off of the beaches. In fact, every beach in Santa Cruz County was fenced off with multiple police officers stationed at every entrance. Anyone found to be in possession of fireworks was prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Dogs were used to locate any contraband buried in the sand, while officers from SCPD, County Sheriffs and State Park Rangers patrolled the beaches.

Anyone who has been to Santa Cruz on the 4th of July, is aware that the quiet beach town transforms into a war zone, that looks like Baghdad on the eve of the first gulf war... quite a change for the quiet surf community populated by peace-mongers. But on July 4th, the beaches and neighborhoods become battlefields where drunken pyro-soldiers play war games with live ammo consisting of every class of firework one could imagine... and more. To be honest, it's actually quite frightening at times, and no doubt, someone gets hurt quite badly every year.

In a frenzied reaction to the hundreds of wildfires that have been burning in California this summer, our over-zealous governors made a frantic attempt to squelch the fiery festivities this year. But, as usual, Santa Cruz City and County stuck it to the tax payers and hired hundreds of cops paying them overtime holiday wages. A seemingly misappropriation of funds. The ancient concrete roads are crumbling in Seabright, but they'll have to wait... indefinitely, because Santa Cruz City has its priorities.

In the end, Santa Cruzans didn't give into the temporary tyranny wrought upon them, and fought back with a civilian fireworks display that rivaled last year's celebrations. As soon as darkness descended upon Surf City, an uninterrupted barrage of fiery explosions popped, fizzed, boomed and illuminated the night sky for several hours.

The cops were the big winners who got paid to spend the day at the beach, serving and protecting us from ourselves.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Rush Limbaugh & Michael Savage Voted Most Intelligent Talk Show Hosts


Har har. Actually, Phil Hendrie won unanimously in the Rhetro Zenberg poll. Phil could out-wit both of those thick-sculled narcissists with half of his brains tied behind his backside.